After finishing the production on my second short film, I received an offer from a film producer I had collaborated with several times as a crew member on their projects. Previously, I had sent them stills of my short films. Although they were hesitant before, after seeing those samples and having their meeting with me, they agreed to give me my first shot at directing one of their feature films. The offer was for one of their stories with a slightly higher budget than their previous features. Although I was surprised at the depth of their trust, I wasn't going to refuse this offer or let them down.

 

To my fortune, the film was a drama which dealt with grief and the willingness to find resilience. The story surrounds Jarrod,  a boxer who had recently lost his mother.  He bottles his emotions, only letting the anger out when he's in the boxing matches he frequently registers.

Grief, is a persistent visitor for anyone with a tenure of life. It reshapes us into who we are; for better or worse, especially if that grief is imbued by the unexpected demise of someone. I myself have witnessed others, including myself, step into its abyss. We lose ourselves in a psychological or physical indulgence. Though as time passes, the effect of those emotions becomes more abated. Since those negative emotions wane from us, it does not imply that we are not presented with their scar. So how do we visually show that? Jarrod has already impulsivly accepted the challenge of a vicious boxer against the advice of his friends. It is already irreversible to him, as it seems. To come back from those feelings, the final step, which is the key, is to consciously choose it ourselves. Yet something has to prompt us. In Jarrod's case, it was meeting Claire. Claire was not meant to be a stereotypical saviour but rather someone who reminds Jarrod of who he was before his mother's death. 

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There were two visual approaches that I wanted to display. One was the boxing scene which consisted of the action sequences of the film, the other was the drama.

The boxing scenes had to be shot creatively, showcasing the fast-paced nature of the matches. Due to budgetary constraints, we were not able to shoot it as easily. We did have a boxing ring, yet the camera kit was small, and the location wasn't an actual boxing arena. But perhaps in some situations such as this, less is more. We'd darken the gym and use a steadicam for a POV feel. The shots would consist of a two-shot of the boxers fighting, supplemented with a CU of the boxer's punches or face, capturing their eyes. This would compensate for the limitations we faced and given our actors were previously trained in boxing, it would function appropriately.

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Now came the second visual approach, the character's state of mind and lifestyle. I studied boxers' lifestyle, how they train and what mindset their lifestyle puts them through. I realised even though surrounded by other boxers and trainers who become their close friends with shared goals, each is separately fighting their own demons, per se. 

How was I to capture such isolation? I wanted to experience with long shots, where the camera follows (whether it's by panning or tilting) the character. This would allow the general feel to build up, uninterrupted by other shots in the edits, so the scene unravels. The editing section for each scene should proceed by only cutting the shot when it is necessary, and we minimise the number of shots we need by preparing the shot list, later be communicated to a DOP I had assisted previously.

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The general production went ahead smoothly. Since I had just finished directing my second short film, the responsibility and mindset were fairly fresh. I took certain risks, such as long shots and boxing shot's visual composition, but in the end, the producers informed me that the executive producers were pleased with it. The production and overall experience have been a memorable learning curve for me in my career. ​​​​

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